Thursday, November 12, 2009

Geewizz Creepers - It’s that time again

It’s that time again - Time for self-reflection, self-loathing, self-inflicted “pats on the back” and a few air punches thrown in for good measure.

So a lot of shit has gone down this year some good, some bad, but all of them pretty much jerking me from the safety and nonchalance of childhood to the unrecognisable and peculiar place I find myself in now. It would be wrong to call this place adulthood – I think I have a few more regrettable deeds to get under the belt before I’m there.

My name is Lyle and this is my first step to self-reflection.

Stuff that was important then:

Getting my parents to supplement my income at every chance I get.
Being surrounded by as many “friends” as possible.
Giving a damn
Being thin

Stuff that are important now:

Trying my hardest not to get my parents to supplement my income.
Being surrounded by the friends that really matter.
Not giving a damn
Being thin

Seems there are quite few things that still need working out, so stay glued as I iron out the creases of my polyester life.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Crazy Beautiful

A few hours after I hear the news, I make my way to the DVD store. Its hangover day, which in my world means: DVD’s and a truck-load of junk food.

Bored with the new releases, I mosey over to comedy. Standing with a copy of “Stranger than Fiction” in hand, my eyes begin to leak, and my breathing gets all weird.

I break down in the comedy aisle.

Later that day I realised how my little episode kinda reminded me of you – ironic, fresh and completely original.

It’s in your memories that we’ll find solace and from your life that we’ll draw remarkable strength and inspiration.

See you soon Lau,

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


This past weekend took me to what felt like fifty thousand miles away from Cape Town, to a little town called Burgersdorp. If you were to reach down to grab a handful of biltong, for just one second, you’d drive right pass it.

As a child, Burgersdorp was a marvellous place. The rolling hills, never-ending veld and plethora of nooks and crannies set us off on new adventures everyday. In later years, when teenage angst set in, all the rules of the teen handbook deemed it completely uncool – hence my parents dragging us there at gunpoint, gagged and bound.

But it was only when a certain level of maturity set in that I learnt to appreciate Burgersdorp – the unique, slow accent of its inhabitants, the harsh and untainted beauty of its landscape and its complete disregard for the outside world – it was and still is something quite special.

On Saturday afternoon as I stood at the little church on the hill, the setting sun turning the dusty streets to gold, I wondered if I’d ever return - now that she was gone.

Friday, June 12, 2009

To my Dearest,

Things have been quite rough lately – at times during the day I would find myself not knowing where I was, what I was doing or what I was about to say. No, it’s not an early onset of Alzheimer’s, but rather symptoms of a very hectic, very busy patch in my life.

No matter how many excuses I make, nothing justifies the fact that I shut you out. I guess it’s a classic case of, “Hurt the ones you love the most”.

I would like us to move on from here and try to rebuild what we once had – well that’s if you’re willing to forgive me.

I’m just a boy, standing in front of a Blog, asking it to love me.

Yours Forever,

Sunday, May 10, 2009

All my life I fought against being like you. Being quiet, gentle, soft spoken, kind and unselfish were the kind of virtues I ran away from, thinking it was a show of weakness.

But as I grow older I realise that beneath the hardcore “show and dance” I’m exactly like you – and you are one of the strongest people I know.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What's on your mind?

I have views on most things. From cheese, to politics, from getting just the right amount of vodka in a cosmo, to the dating rituals of the ancient Inca people - if it’s worth talking about, I have an opinion.

Today I bring you my latest view - hot off the press.

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES: If it’s not funny or just outright ridiculous, nobody gives a fuck.

So last night I trawled through my Facebook account, dropping in on all the status updates of my “friends”. Believe me when I say this: there were quite a few shockers, and not in a good way. Allow me to share a few: (names have been changed to protect the identities of the pathetic)

John White is going for sushi tonight.

If it’s the kinda sushi I’m thinking about, it sounds like quite a fun and raunchy evening. But I’m guessing it’s not. Fail!

Jill Frank: Through god everything is possible.

Hey, I’m all for God, but as far as Facebook evangelists go, they irritate me just as much as those guys who come to your door on a Sunday morning to give you a flyer with pictures of pretty people and peacocks. Fail!

Georgia Smith says: Is anybody going to be PE tonight? If so, let me know.

Here’s a tip Georgia: Stand on the side of the road, stick your thumb out and show some boob. That’s bound to be a little more fun than bumming lifts on Facebook. Fail!

These are just a few of the mind-numbing status updates out there. But hey, they aren’t all bad. So I leave you with a pearl of delight: (name has not be changed, to maintain the identity of the awesome)

Lukanyo Sopotela: I like my women like I like my roads... flat and well travelled.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? – Art in this case being movies.

How often have you witnessed a random act on the street that got you thinking: ‘Geez, that’s such a movie moment” or had an experience straight out of one of those weird, “made for TV” flicks on the SciFi channel.

Well, what happened yesterday made me feel like I was in the Twighlight Zone (a super-weird trancy series, aired on the Go channel late at night). So at 17:00 I hop out of the palace of advertising to buy some smokes at the little Grease Factory on the corner. All of a sudden, whilst walking down the road, I could not for the life of me remember where I was and what I was doing. Now usually one would attribute such momentary lapses in memory to a range of hallucinogenics - none of which I was on yesterday.

But movie moments aren’t all bad – It would seem that I just had a really bad trip.

My friend, Kitty let’s us in on her “Big Screen” moment:

“Saturday we went for a drive to Koel Baai. Where there is this cave and water runs down the Mountain and off the rock to form this amazing natural shower. It was too beautiful not to run into so I stripped down to my undies and I went in :)
On our drive back we stopped to watch a pod of dolphins swim by.
It was amazing. Then we went for soft serve in strand.”

Well we might as well just call this girl Meg Ryan and crown her the Queen of the Romantic Comedy because this certainly beats the box-office off my weird and disturbing “made for TV” moment.