I have views on most things. From cheese, to politics, from getting just the right amount of vodka in a cosmo, to the dating rituals of the ancient Inca people - if it’s worth talking about, I have an opinion.
Today I bring you my latest view - hot off the press.
FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES: If it’s not funny or just outright ridiculous, nobody gives a fuck.
So last night I trawled through my Facebook account, dropping in on all the status updates of my “friends”. Believe me when I say this: there were quite a few shockers, and not in a good way. Allow me to share a few: (names have been changed to protect the identities of the pathetic)
John White is going for sushi tonight.
If it’s the kinda sushi I’m thinking about, it sounds like quite a fun and raunchy evening. But I’m guessing it’s not. Fail!
Jill Frank: Through god everything is possible.
Hey, I’m all for God, but as far as Facebook evangelists go, they irritate me just as much as those guys who come to your door on a Sunday morning to give you a flyer with pictures of pretty people and peacocks. Fail!
Georgia Smith says: Is anybody going to be PE tonight? If so, let me know.
Here’s a tip Georgia: Stand on the side of the road, stick your thumb out and show some boob. That’s bound to be a little more fun than bumming lifts on Facebook. Fail!
These are just a few of the mind-numbing status updates out there. But hey, they aren’t all bad. So I leave you with a pearl of delight: (name has not be changed, to maintain the identity of the awesome)
Lukanyo Sopotela: I like my women like I like my roads... flat and well travelled.