All my life I fought against being like you. Being quiet, gentle, soft spoken, kind and unselfish were the kind of virtues I ran away from, thinking it was a show of weakness.

But as I grow older I realise that beneath the hardcore “show and dance” I’m exactly like you – and you are one of the strongest people I know.

What's on your mind?

I have views on most things. From cheese, to politics, from getting just the right amount of vodka in a cosmo, to the dating rituals of the ancient Inca people - if it’s worth talking about, I have an opinion.

Today I bring you my latest view - hot off the press.

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES: If it’s not funny or just outright ridiculous, nobody gives a fuck.

So last night I trawled through my Facebook account, dropping in on all the status updates of my “friends”. Believe me when I say this: there were quite a few shockers, and not in a good way. Allow me to share a few: (names have been changed to protect the identities of the pathetic)

John White is going for sushi tonight.

If it’s the kinda sushi I’m thinking about, it sounds like quite a fun and raunchy evening. But I’m guessing it’s not. Fail!

Jill Frank: Through god everything is possible.

Hey, I’m all for God, but as far as Facebook evangelists go, they irritate me just as much as those guys who come to your door on a Sunday morning to give you a flyer with pictures of pretty people and peacocks. Fail!

Georgia Smith says: Is anybody going to be PE tonight? If so, let me know.

Here’s a tip Georgia: Stand on the side of the road, stick your thumb out and show some boob. That’s bound to be a little more fun than bumming lifts on Facebook. Fail!

These are just a few of the mind-numbing status updates out there. But hey, they aren’t all bad. So I leave you with a pearl of delight: (name has not be changed, to maintain the identity of the awesome)

Lukanyo Sopotela: I like my women like I like my roads... flat and well travelled.

Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? – Art in this case being movies.

How often have you witnessed a random act on the street that got you thinking: ‘Geez, that’s such a movie moment” or had an experience straight out of one of those weird, “made for TV” flicks on the SciFi channel.

Well, what happened yesterday made me feel like I was in the Twighlight Zone (a super-weird trancy series, aired on the Go channel late at night). So at 17:00 I hop out of the palace of advertising to buy some smokes at the little Grease Factory on the corner. All of a sudden, whilst walking down the road, I could not for the life of me remember where I was and what I was doing. Now usually one would attribute such momentary lapses in memory to a range of hallucinogenics - none of which I was on yesterday.

But movie moments aren’t all bad – It would seem that I just had a really bad trip.

My friend, Kitty let’s us in on her “Big Screen” moment:

“Saturday we went for a drive to Koel Baai. Where there is this cave and water runs down the Mountain and off the rock to form this amazing natural shower. It was too beautiful not to run into so I stripped down to my undies and I went in :)
On our drive back we stopped to watch a pod of dolphins swim by.
It was amazing. Then we went for soft serve in strand.”

Well we might as well just call this girl Meg Ryan and crown her the Queen of the Romantic Comedy because this certainly beats the box-office off my weird and disturbing “made for TV” moment.